If we were having coffee

having coffee

One of my favorite things to do with friends is to chat over a cup of coffee. This was something my girlfriends and I started doing in high school, and it carried into college and beyond as well. I don’t get to do it nearly enough, anymore. Busy schedules, babies, budgets  and distant borders now make having coffee with a friend increasingly difficult. That’s why today I’m going to share with you what I’d tell you if we were having coffee.

If we were having coffee, I’d tell you about how terrible my work life is right now. On the surface, my work life seems ideal: I work from home, I have a robust amount of autonomy, I work almost entirely independently and I get to set my own schedule. However, all is not as it seems. Our board of directors have recently made broad institutional changes that are affecting top level leadership and impacting me directly. These changes have been abrupt and ill-planned. The morale among my team and the organization as a whole is low, and it’s not a great place to be. So, I’m updating my resume and brushing up on my interview skills.

If we were having coffee, I would tell you about how Oklahoma’s schizophrenic weather is causing my allergies to go bat crazy. I can’t breathe, my throat itches and I’m hacking like a middle-aged chainsmoker named Barb. Ryan went out for some allergy meds tonight, and all of the major brands were sold out. It seems I’m not alone. Oklahoma’s extended forecasts have had more highs and lows than the Zingo at Bell’s. Go home, Oklahoma weather, you’re drunk.

If we were having coffeewe would inevitably talk politics. I’ve generally avoided these conversations since law school, but I believe our country is in a critical place and we need more engaged citizens. And while I don’t expect to win you to my side, I thrive on the exchange of ideas. I think we’re all better for it when we can dialogue with those of different worldviews.

If we were having coffee, I’d tell you about how Ryan’s starting a new ministry position in a local church that has us so excited. Since moving here last summer, we’ve really struggled to find a church home. However, a church just a few blocks from our house recently hired Ryan as their bivocational worship leader. This new faith family has made us feel incredibly welcome already, and I’m so thankful for new possibilities.

If we were having coffee, I would tell you how my firstborn is turning four years old this week and I don’t even know what’s happening. Tonight after her bath, she asked me to blow-dry her hair, and I was struck by how much of a little girl she is now. All signs of my baby are gone and it’s exhilarating and devastating all at the same time. I’d also tell you that parenting her is the greatest challenge of my life so far (and I’ve had many). I’m daily forced to my knees in prayer for how to be the mom she needs, and it’s a humbling road to walk. Where all my mommas of strong-willed humans at?

Okay,. Your turn. If we were having coffee, what would you tell me?

6 thoughts on “If we were having coffee

  1. If we were having coffee, I would hug your neck and tell you I am proud of you.

    I would try to express how much you have encouraged me.

    I would look you in the eyes, and you would be able to see on my face that the times I have promised to pray for you, the Lord has honored them.

    We would both sit and wonder what God is doing in our new friendship and pray for more.

    Heck! Sitting face to face with you, I’d probably treat myself to a donut or a pastry, because I feel as if it would be just as special to you as it is to me.


    1. CK – if we were having coffee, I’d want to hear all about the class you’re leading at QSBC and the doors God’s opening for your leadership to women. I would tell you how you are an encouraging presence in my life, even from afar. And I would definitely enjoy a pastry, too!

  2. Ooooh, girl. If we were having coffee, we could definitely commiserate about that whole resume dusting off process. And then we could laugh hysterically about the nice lady at CVS who said the best way to cure bad allergies was to drink more water.

  3. I love your post, Rachel. And I love coffee dates, so I can totally relate to this. I guess that first I’d tell you “WHAT? my name is Barb!” and then we’d laugh and laugh because of course it isn’t…. And I would say I’m on a quest to find the best scone in the world so we had better buy a couple of different kinds for, you know, testing purposes, because science, etc. And then I would say (because I have found this to be true even at 50+) that friendship can blossom no matter whether the 2 people are at exactly the same age and stage of life or not, or whether their backgrounds are similar or different … because you just know your kindred spirits when you find them.

    1. Obviously we’d need to try AT THE VERY LEAST a blueberry and a lemon poppyseed scone. Probably a cranberry orange one, too. Because science.

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