define | five minute friday


Five Minute Friday: a community of writers who free write for five minutes on a one-word prompt. No editing, no over-thinking, no analyzing grammar and style. Just writing. Today’s word: define.

Setting my timer and starting in 3…2…1…NOW.

This isn’t very profound, but the first thing I think of when I hear the word “define” is the relationship hurdle known as the DTR: define the relationship. During my college years, the DTR was a significant milestone in any guy-girl interaction. If you found yourself spending time with one guy exclusively, and if feelings started to get involved, and if the time you spent together definitely bordered on boyfriend-girlfriend territory, then it was time to DTR: define the relationship.

Now that I’m married with children, and no longer on the dating scene, the DTR is a less a part of my life. But, I think that it’s a relationship practice that might be healthy in other areas. Such as, food. Work. Friendships. Habits. It might be time for me to have a DTR session with some of the ways I spend my time. I did this earlier this year when I took an extended hiatus from Facebook. Maybe I need to define the relationship with other daily habits that may not be healthy or in my best interest.

Ultimate, to define the relationship is to take a critical look at something that’s becoming a bigger part of your life and to determine where it’s going, and whether that destination is a good place. I can think of several things in my life that need to have a good, ol’ fashioned DTR.

Time’s up. 

What about you? Have you ever had a DTR talk? Is there something, or someone, in your life you might need to define the relationship with?

7 thoughts on “define | five minute friday

  1. Oh, this took me back to my college dating days as well. One of my guy friends said that he thought of me like a sister, but would ask me out on dates when he felt lonely. I had several defining the relationship talks with that guy. It is funny. the only guy that I did not have those kind of talks with was my husband. Our relationship flowed pretty naturally from friendship to dating; dating to engaged; and then eventually marriage. I also agree that DTR is important in a wide variety of facets of life. I hope you have a lovely weekend!

    1. Hey Rose! Now that you mention it, I don’t think I ever needed a DTR with my husband either! His pursuit of my heart was so apparent from the outset that I was never left needing to define things…it was clear! It’s so funny to think back on those dating days now, though…and to be thankful to have walked through that season and be out of it now. I hope you have a lovely weekend as well!

  2. I just loved this AND I love your bio! I connected with you on a million levels: daughter of a dad who was a vietnam vet who battled PTSD and substance abuse, teachers encouraged me to write, AND Okies!!! My husband and I were stationed at Tinker for 5 years–we still have a house in N. OKC–and it will always feel like my “Home Sweet ‘Homa.” I love it there & would love to end up back there someday. Also I’m obsessed with the Thunder and my husband got his master’s at OU so—Boomer!

    Anyway, back to your post. I absolutely loved what you said about having a DTR with our habits and the way we spend our time. I did the same thing (the Facebook hiatus) earlier this year and it breathed new life into my soul and my writing . I think anytime we take time to reevaluate and reprioritize, the Holy Spirit is faithful to draw us back to Him and reminds us of what is most important!

    So glad I scrolled all the way up from the bottom this week and found you. Keep writing, sister!! And Thunder Up!! 😉

    1. Hi, Nichole! So glad you found me, too! I used to live not far from TAFB about 6 years ago – small world! Where are you now?

      1. Believe it or not we are in Hawaii! We moved from OKC in 2011, but we still have a home and many friends in Edmond! Crazy small world!

  3. I like that DTR because I have found through the years I had to do that with other relationships. Love the fact it works on practical areas too. Thanks for a new way to view everything that comes into my life.

  4. I appreciate this. And I wish I had had a serious, truthful DTR with my closest friend before our friendship imploded 4 years ago. I wish I had had the courage and insight to ask, “Am I just a member of your audience, or best supporting actress, or am I a true equal?” I think I would be a lot less regretful today if we had had that talk, as uncomfortable as it might have been. Thanks for your take on “define.”

    Jeannie (#30 in the linkup this week)

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