Mom Quotes

Mom Quotes from Real Moms


Yesterday, I crowd-sourced my Facebook friends for some of the common phrases they often say to their kids. They did not disappoint. Their contributions were hilarious and heart-warming, so I thought I’d share some of my favorites. If you came here to find poetic or inspiring thoughts on motherhood, you should look elsewhere. Instead, here are real mom quotes that reflect real life motherhood:

“As long as you live in this house, you will follow our rules.”

“Because I said so!”

“Please engage your brain!”

“Put kindness in your voice/face/eyes/hands.”

“Stop, you’ll hurt someone or break something.”

“I could never stop loving you.”

“Can you please just stop!?”

“This day is over!”

“Be gentle!”

“Use your words.”

“Please stop touching me.”

“You cannot still be hungry.”

“I just want to pee alone!”

Funny Mom Quotes Coffee Stains Blog

“What were you thinking?!”

“Don’t pee in the hamper!”

“Please put on underwear.”

“Why is there poop in the bathtub?”

“No, people don’t eat poop.”

“I will pull this car over!”

“I love you.”

“May the odds be ever in your favor!”

“I’m proud of you.”

“I want to squeeze you until your head pops off!”

“I’m gonna kiss you forever.”

“Act like we let you out of the attic once in a while!”

“I’m gonna eat you up!”

“Be nice to your brother. He’ll be bigger than you one day!”

“Mommy loves you so so so so so much! And Jesus loves you more than that!”

“Stop licking the fridge.”

“Make sure you wash all your nooks and crannies.”

And the best…..


Funny Mom Quotes from Real Moms


I hope these mom quotes made you smile or laugh. Motherhood can push us to our limits some days, but it’s healthy to laugh at the funny and crazy moments that come with it as well. What are some of the funny or weird things you say to your kids often?

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